I Have Too Many Thinking Days...

1 year ago today, I woke up on the floor of my bedroom, vomit everywhere, after an unsuccessful attempt to take my own life. I was numb and not sure how I felt about being alive. I let a handful of people know what I had done, and was distant and drawn back from everyone else. I went through a blur of a workday before coming home, telling my parents what I had done, agreeing to go to the doctor, and spending the rest of the night curled up in bed. I had arguably hit the lowest point of my life.

This morning, I sprang out of bed, got ready, and drove off to work, happy as could be. Had an awesome day, had a wonderful dinner with a co-worker, went to the gym on my own to work out for a bit, went for a two-hour drive with my best friend, came home and spent quality time with my parents, made myself a smoothie, and am snuggled in bed.

Life is not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I had a really rough year crawling up from rock bottom, but I did it. It took almost a year, but I did it and have done it darn well, I must say. I may not be as close to many of the people who I was at this time last year and had some other ups and downs, but I’m happy where I am. I miss some people more than others, but it is what it is. 

I’m excited for what’s to come. And for celebrating my re-birthday every year. I was saved for a reason; I intend to find out what it is, and make the best of it along the way.

A very merry re-birthday to me indeed <3